The Words that We Use

Good communication is the ability to relate your thoughts into another’s mind. The message that you give, possesses all the information and feeling that you mean to give. Sounding simple, it is relatively hard to do so. Like how Alan Greenspan once said,”I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant?” Giving simple instructions or talking, is actually more difficult than thought, which inherently is the problem of communication: Misunderstandings and not fully grasping the situation.

There is an art to good communication. People communicate every minute and every hour, but rarely is the full communication received. Due to there being several ways to communicate, and not all of them verbal. It’s easy to see where things could go desperately wrong, when we even struggle to communicate verbally.

People have written books, seminars, tapes, pod-casts, and various ways to communicate their message. The irony, people still scratch their head after listening, reading, or watching these communications on communication.

 Furthermore, even this essay which is about understanding communication may not fully translate into the minds of others, the message that I am trying to bring,

Why there is such a struggle with communication, is because we don’t always realize that others are reading a different messages from our words. And other times, we are just simply unaware of the messages we are sending out. Whether it be our voice, words, or body language.

 Adding to that mix, is that we all have a different experiences, and come from different walks of life. Despite that being so, we also often struggle to communicate successfully to our own family members in a deep and meaningful manner. Our own very flesh and blood!

With good communication, it is really a matter of thinking about what you say carefully. Having empathy and understanding how others will receive your message is the first step. Furthermore, being aware of your surroundings, the scene, the music playing in the background, the atmosphere, will really be part of your message when you talk to someone. All these insignificant things count, when you speak, because when you speak to another being, it’s going through a filter. This filter is their heart and their mind, of what they have seen and done.

It’s not necessarily of whether it’s right how others see things, but a matter of, "will they be able to understand?". Good communication doesn’t have to be passages and passages of writings, or long sagas of oral communication. The message, just needs to be able to communicate all that you mean, clearly, efficiently, and quickly.

Good communication can be a lot of work. However, communication is key, as every person you meet, you will communicate, even if they be deaf, blind, dumb, smart, good looking, ugly or anything really;You will need communication. It is so important, and it is worth the effort, if you want to live a happy and long life.

Good communication is simple as it is hard. As you learn and try to realize that communication is more than just opening and shutting your mouth, you will find yourself conversing more easily with others. Once that fundamental understanding is recognized in your life, your communication will vastly improve. Many a time, people don’t actually realize that how they, grunt, shrug, or communicate, is not always the best way to do things. Life is about talking with others, so embracing good communication, is a step to embracing a better life.

Rain Check

Hello Guys,

I will be going away for a week, and the place I'll be going I won't have access to a computer. So this week there will be no post. However, I'll be back next week hopefully to write another one.

All the best,

Jack Snider

How To Break A Heart

To break a heart, you just have to live life. Life is full of heart break. If you look around everywhere, you see people who look tired, they look sad, and they look hard from the cares of life. But that doesn’t mean that you should get use to hearts being broken. Why hearts are broken, happens for several reasons, but usually the results are quite similar. The only difference, is the level of heart break.

How are hearts broken? They are usually are broken the same time trust is shattered into a thousand pieces. Hearts are broken because, much was given and little was returned, making a heart go to waste. Hearts are broken because they needed to be tough, so they stopped working to stop feeling pain. Hearts break so often, and for so many reasons.

This breaking of hearts, sometimes it happens in one moment, one word, and other times, it happens with each passing hour, ever so slowly.

Heart break happens all the time, since every human has a heart, but just because it is a common occurrence, it doesn’t make it any less tragic that they do break. A common tragedy doesn’t make it any sadder, or normal, it just makes it all the more heartbreaking that something so terrible, could be called common.

As to why hearts are broken, it’s because hearts are made to give and receive love. We should guard our hearts, but since we need love, our hearts are always going to want to have love and to give it. Because, is that not what hearts do?

Love can destroy a heart and love can mend a heart. So guard your hearts, and don’t become another broken heart, because once broken, they are hard to fix. Let your heart, be neither hard, nor too open on your sleeve. Guard your heart, and look carefully to those who you choose to hold your heart.

Was Love Not Good Enough?

Why do relationships fail. Where there is love, it shouldn’t fail, but it does. It seems a tragedy, that two hearts that loved each other fail. It seems so wrong that love would fail. However, at a closer look, love does not fail, it never gives in, but rather the feeling of love does so.

Love fails because people are often not really in love with their love, but in love with the feeling of love. Since the feeling of love is a feeling, it is fleeting. What most people don’t understand, is that love is not just when you feel something. Love is more than that, love is a choice.

The feeling of love is immense, it is empowering, it is like a drug. A drug in so many ways that the same dopamine rush that lovers feel, cocaine users feel. This release of dopamine and all the different chemicals provide a true high. A high you don’t want to let go now or ever.

The problem with just feeling love, is that it cannot survive the hard times. Or really just the normal times. You won’t always feel loving towards someone. You may feel bored with them, you may feel angry at them, or you may just not get along with them.

Although you may love someone, if you have a fight or you get bored with them, it’s going to be a lot harder to love someone, because all you have is your love, and the feeling of love that is holding you together.

In today’s society we are consumers, and if a relationship doesn’t work, we just leave. This is sometimes for better or for worst. Better because, it means that people can leave damaging relationships. Bad, because instead of trying to work out problems or issues that could be solved, people just move on, meaning that love never stood a chance, for there was no commitment at all.

Love fails, because people don’t get along, they don’t think about love or the person. They are just led by a feeling. The same feelings that can feel hate, boredom, and repulsion. Love is more than an emotion. Letting emotions rule a relationship is a disaster. It’s like buying a car, you may love that car, but if it isn’t actually a good car, no matter how much you love that car, it’s not going to get better. It’s not going to be everything you wanted. Sure, you can get the car fixed, serviced, or whatever, but ultimately, feelings really don’t have that much to do with the car. Yes, feelings may help you make decisions, but they are not the deciding factor. Nor should they always be so.

Love has been something that has been around for a very long time. The concept of love has changed in people’s mind, but love has always been what it has been, not the preconceptions of humanity’s views of it. Nevertheless, relationships fail because love has been perceived incorrectly, and that is why relationships have been left weakened. Love can sustain a relationship, but the feeling of love, cannot do so.

Trust Me To Trust You

In a backwards way, when people break your trust, they are not breaking anything, because choosing to give someone your trust is a decision you make, and not up to them. While you maybe disappointed in a person, nothing is being a broken, unless you decide to do something. The giving or taking back of trust is something that you do.

When deciding to trust someone, you have to make the decision if you trust them or not. It’s a rather simplistic way of seeing things, but either you choose to trust them or you don’t trust them. If you trust them, then you trust them so there is no problem. And if you choose to distrust them, well you distrust them.

The problem in between, is that people doubt their judgment of a person. They wonder if they are seeing the truth. In a sense, people are actually wondering about themselves versus the person when you think about it. They are worried that their discernment of a person is not good enough and that they will be hurt.

However, in reality, people do not trust themselves, in their ability to trust others correctly that they will treat them right. Bringing this truth home, trust is not broken or given by others. It is only given by you, the one who will make the decision to give or take back, by your ability to discern a character.

So choosing to trust someone in a strange way is trusting yourself and your abilities. People cannot take away your trust. They may make you want to or take it back, but people can’t take something that they never gave in the first place. Trust is something that you learn to give to others when you feel right about them, and you feel that you can trust them so you give it. It is all really based upon your feelings. So when choosing to trust someone, make sure you trust yourself.

A Step, Just a Step

Some of the most cheesiest, famous, cliches are just true. The problem with them, is that they are what they are, words. Simply words, that lack context or meaning unless said greatly. Like how a normal person can say something, and then Morgan Freeman can say it. However, despite them being cliché, they can be true, and one of those cliches, would be that the thousand step journey begins with one step.

Most people have dreams, but the difference between those that have dreams and those that achieve their dreams is: One has dreams, and the other makes those dreams tangible.

If you have a dream, but don’t work on that dream, it makes it just a pie in the sky.

Given enough time and trying, a dream will always come true. Anything, given enough time, despite the odds will always come true.

Too often, when people want to do something, they stop short when they look at themselves or the amount in their wallet, and just mumble,”That’s life.” But the truth is far from that, reality is bent by the wills of men and women who choose another reality.

For instance, let’s say you wanted to climb mount Everest. Not only is mountain climbing expensive with all the gear, it is also very physically challenging. Most people would say, “It’s too expensive and that’s life, if only I was rich.”

However, in reality, even if they had the money and said the same thing, it would be the same. Mount Everest is not just about money, it’s also about training your body and doing the research. It’s not really that someone couldn’t do it, money or no money, it’s really just because they never even tried.

Most goals or dreams that never come true, is simply because the right technique was not applied. However, most of the time it’s really because people don’t even try. If people choose to fail before they even try, of course that dream is impossible. Too often people put dreams on the back burner or they just give up when looking at the task. The truth about dreams is that they are possible if some effort is made. Even things that are possible require effort, dreams are no different.

So if you have a dream and it seems impossible, don’t look at the impossible, do the possible. Because once that is done, you are one step closer, making that dream more tangible then ever.

Be It Wrong?

 

Abortion is the termination of a fetus in clinical terms. Or an abortion is the killing, murder, of a living being that was brought into existence. Whatever you call it, that is what abortion is. It is the ending of a person or it, which ever camp you call it. Some call it a right, some call it as right as putting a bullet in someone’s head.

There are two ways to have an abortion, either by a pill that will secrete toxins into the womb of the mother and end the fetus, and death by suction, where the vacuum gently grabs the fetus, baby, and pops it out in bits.

The argument about abortion, or to be accurate, one of the many arguments is, “When does a baby become a baby?” “What is a person?”

However, to make matters simple, the definition of a person that, maybe can be all agreed is when a baby has a heart beat. While others might have other ideals, and so do I, but if someone has a heart and its beating, we can at least all agree that is when a person is a person. For a heart has desires, and dreams, no matter how big or small.

With a baby, it can have a heart beat as early 3 weeks and as a late to 8 weeks. However, since every baby is different, they can vary greatly and so will sources when they say that a heart beat begins. To bring that into context though, this means it will either be two months or one month into a pregnancy that a baby has a heartbeat, which is less than a tv series season.

However what makes it more, sad, distressing? That in some countries, it is possible to have an abortion all the way up to 9 months, which is as long as a full pregnancy. While not sounding that remarkable, healthy babies have been born at 6 months or in some cases 21 weeks. Meaning that, even if you don’t believe that a baby is a human being when they have a heart beat at three weeks, they are definitely a person at six months.

The irony is this, if a baby could grab a knife and cut its way out of the womb before its mother did it to it, the baby could live. Because once out of the womb it would be a person.

The tragedy, is that the only reason a baby might not see the sun is that they are stuck in their mother’s womb who chose to end theirs. A few inches of skin stop them from living. If you grabbed a woman who was having abortion at 8 months and took the baby out of her unwillingly and then gave her back the baby that she wanted to end. The “fetus”, that she was trying to end legally, that was in her, is now a baby, because it is out of her. Thus making a right in the womb, into a crime out of the womb, if she was to kill it.

Another aspect to abortion, is that when someone who wants to have a baby has a miscarriage, the baby is not an it, usually no matter how young or old it is. It seems strange that people can understand the grief of a mother losing a baby when technically it was just a fetus, an it, by clinical terms. Furthermore, by medical terms an abortion is an assisted miscarriage. It just seems that as a society we can grieve over the same thing, but at the same time cry out it as a right in other circumstances.

There are many reasons people have abortions, some for purely selfish reasons, others for more grey areas such as saving maybe the mother, but the truth is, after five weeks surely we can all agree that a sacrifice of some type is happening, and that someone is losing their life when an abortion happens. This post isn’t about discussing why people have an abortion, why it should happen and all the many reasons, that is a whole different topic or can of worms. A topic that can span just over everything from: religion, “equality”, woman rights, science, the environment, over population, and probably everything that is wrong with the world.

However, this post is not about that, its about pointing out that someone is dying, and it is not simply killing something that will be a person, but someone who is actually one.

This will probably get people’s hackles raised up, and people may yell, but while that is all going on, between all the insults, and red herrings, this isn’t about you, its about whether something is ethical. Is it wrong to kill that fetus, baby, and if so, why don’t we do enough about it?