Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated.
~ Alphonse de Lamartine
It's
quite a common thing to hear lovers say about their significant
other, that he or she completes them. It may seem that is true, but
it isn't. While the math seems sound that two halves make a whole. Those halves aren't sometimes even a whole half from the start. More
like quarters with broken pieces. Furthermore, even if a person
completes you, this means that before you weren't stable, and if
they're not around suddenly your unstable? Either way, both aspects are not very favorable.
When you enter into a
relationship for the first time or the eighth time, you'll still be
carrying your baggage if you haven't got rid of it. Things will not magically disappear just like
that. While you may seem some change or minor change, the deep roots
of the inner problems of the past will still be there.
When people go into a relationship, they should be a
whole. In a relationship things can be tough and if not down right stressful. There is work, life, family, bills, and the future to worry about. If you don't have that inner "oomph", or your still carrying fear from another relationship or insecurities, you won't last on the rocks
That's really why you shouldn't
go into a relationship to fix problems. In fact the problems of
yesterday will double now that you have your problems and now theirs.
That's why it's really better to fix those problems that you had: The
feeling of that empty void or those insecurities and silly fears. It's really better to fix these problems before
you commit. Because you may find that if you change, and the person
your with is unwilling to change, then things may end badly.
However, this is not always the
case, sometimes you can change with your partner and you can be the
stronger.
The thing about fixing yourself,
you'll find that you'll have better life with someone or just even
yourself. This shows up with the fact that you'll always in general
attract people who are similar to you in some ways. So if you want a
good partner, you have to be a good partner first. Because once you
fix up the pieces that are broken, you can attract people who are
happy and people you want around.
So whether if your in a
relationship, want to be in relationship, or going to be in
relationship, if you're not whole, you'll be leeching off your partner
to be a whole person. And that is just vampiric, which is, to put it mildly, somewhat impolite.
While that may be attractive for Twilight fans. The truth is that
codependency is not something pleasant to contemplate. More so, when
your both doing to each other. If there is that lack of giving and
receiving the relationship is always going to be doomed from the very
first kiss.
In essence, when approaching love for the first time or from a interlude in relationships, don't be
in a rush, it would be better to prepare yourself for twenty
years and five happy years of utter joy than to have twenty years of
hell and then five years of regret.
However, if your in a relationship and
you know that you're not whole, don't worry, deal with it. You've made it this far. Pat yourself on the back. But also, there's room for improvement. Howbeit, don't rush change, if you've been walking around your whole life like this, things won't just suddenly change. Rather take your time, give yourself and your loved one's time. Don't just use will power and enthusiasm to fuel you. Have a real
plan to conquer, and once it's gone, sit back and enjoy your life. You've finally found the missing piece, that was always in you to make you whole.
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